Kryptonite Found
Alex:
April 25th, 2007
Owner of Lexcorp and well known bald-man, Lex Luthor has been quoted as saying he is “jubilant” after geologists unearthed a small deposit of Kryptonite in downtown Serbia.
The Canadian scientists discovered that their new mineral had precisely the same chemical formula (sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide) as Kryptonite in the film Superman Returns after checking on the geek-sodden internet. Traditionally kryptonite weakens Superman’s well known super-powers. It has not been reported if it is green kryptonite (which merely weakens the hero), or red (which weakens his moral core and turns him oh so e-vil).
Superman himself is said to unavailable for comment, though The Daily Planet’s Lois Lane stated that his previous brushes with the substance, though dangerous, were always quickly resolved.