We’ll stick together, forever
Alex:
April 27th, 2007
The Scotsman reports that one in ten relationships are held together by Post-it notes. The ubiquitous yellow helper ensures your other half is aware of their milk collection or bin removal duties, relieving you on the inconvenience of face-to-face contact, particularly when said face is cracking the clean-the-bathroom whip. “I suspect men would possibly be more likely to write notes that are matter of fact, where the best a woman could expect to get in terms of endearment is ‘hope you’re ok’. But I think a woman would be more inclined to be chattier and attempt more intimacy” muses Dr Cynthia McVey, in a vaguely misandrist mode. Perhaps, good doctor, that is because Post-it notes are not a discourse open to labyrinthine digressions into the myriad complexities of how one is feeling, but are better suited to “Pick kids up from pool”.
Carrie Bradshaw, of vacuous consumerist fable Sex and The City, was once chucked by her boyfriend via the graceful medium of the Post-it. New York, New York so good they Post-Ited it once, scrawled a follow-up message, scribbled down an angry phone number, installed another Post-it in a different colour roughly on top and added a snarky message written in four-foot thick blue biro. I couldn’t help but wonder: are journalists careers saved by browsing through the day to day hubbub of spurious scientific research (yes, me too)? I couldn’t help but wonder: is Sex and the The City seriously scientifically flawed? (I did write this post over a steaming powerbook, glancing whistfully out of my window at a moonlit central park, Marlboro Light in hand)
When not saving your relationships from wallowing in an distinctly unsexy chore pit or discretely disposing of your sex columnist girlfriend, Post-it notes can eek out an existence performing more mundane tasks. As well as giving students a helping hand, allowing you to zip through library books, you can also attach them securely to your arm in Robocop-gone-Staples ‘task nagger’. Well, actually, I’d rather while away my work hours constructing a meticulously implemented Post-it mosaic of Elvis Aaron Presley. Or drawing crude and likely semi-obscene cartoons on big stacks and flicking them past, pretending I am Walt ‘freakin'’ Disney. I’m fine…..Okay?